Training For Life Strategies: The Bathroom

January 25, 2018

With the continued rise of the training-for-life trend in the health & wellness industry, we have decided to go all-in with this approach and find optimum performance in all arenas of human function. Let's face it, if we're training for life we have to ask ourself tough, real-life questions and be ready for the very real answers. Like "where does life begin and training end?" and "are they now one in same; life is training and training is life?" Let's be really, really, really real here, it's 2018 and we have to question everything...literally everything.


So if we are training for life, can functional fitness cross the cold tile-threshold into the bathroom? ((Oh wait, not everyone has a cold tile bathroom floor anymore, plenty of fancy facilities out there with heated bathroom floors (question everything)). Of course it does! A big part of life now is inclusivity, and it isn't just for people anymore, it's for places too! If we're training for life, we damn well better include our bathroom as part of our training space. We simply cannot lead lives in training anymore that only exist in the garage, gym, or outside in nature...bleh. 

As with any human function, the environment around us impacts our performance. The bathroom is no different. Due to the static, sterile nature of the bathroom, we must arrive equipped with the tools to stay dynamic in our skill, endurance, and strength. Just as we would a marathon, a WOD, or grocery shopping. The first tool is the Squatty Potty. Clearly some engineer who wasn't training for life invented the toilet as it nearly cripples the stability and mobility of modern humans. There are some things in this training life - life training that our body completely rejects because its design goes against our nature. The toilet is one of them. 


In order to bring functions of human movement back to the toilet, we use the Squatty Potty, a PVC pipe dowel, minimal shoes, or even better barefeet. The skill of movement develops around technique or form - the ability to control body position and behavior during motion. Within one functionally equipped bathroom skill session, we had completely reversed our toilet form.


However, bringing functional fitness to the bathroom goes beyond skill. We wouldn't show up to the gym and just do drills for 2 to 3 hours. So clearly we're not going to enter the latrine without a whiteboard breakdown of the projected Time Domain -Workload equation. After mechanics are sound, we're ready to increase intensity and destroy any time caps. But it's not all about quantity, we're never going to sacrifice quality of work for faster finishing times. Functional fitness may enter the bathroom, and that does not leave a whole lot of room...literally the gear adds up quickly. We all know the only room left is for the competition between who we were yesterday in that bathroom, or 2-4 hours earlier depending on our nitro cold brew intake. There is certainly no room leftover for competition among others in the bathroom (yet..Porcelain Games 2019). So what are we bringing into bathroom for strength and endurance? That's easy:

  • heart rate monitor to guide intensity thresholds

  • 511 tactical weight vest for load variance

  • RX movements like the pistol-squatty-potty

As you begin to bring functional fitness into your bathrooms, remember...the bathroom door doesn't close on community just because the training environment really really precludes group classes. There are plenty of ways we can keep our sense of community while bringing functional fitness into the bathroom. It comes down to communication, talk about it. Get rid of the silent, unfit, instagram checking lavatory sessions that hinder our training life - life training. We're all in...all up in the bathroom because there is always a place for more training. Life - grab it by the toilet paper. You're welcome.





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